I have always believed in the fact that quality and real conversations are the base to any relationship. Fame, ego, social status, age, gender and money should never interfere between any meaningful relationship. In the real life or in virtual world (social media), I am always driven towards relevance. Be it people around me or something that I do.

Ever since I started my travel journey, I have been very particular about whom I travel with. This whole selection process is truly intriguing! Sometimes, when there are exceptions, it ruins the whole travel experience. And, over the years, I have developed a strategy that’s fool proof!

Today, I wanted to shed some insight on how I choose my travel partner. In other perspective, what parameters entitle a person to travel with me? After all no one likes a bad company. Do you?

When you feel alone in a group of people, that’s the worst feeling in the world.

Today, we may be living in a technologically advanced era. But I prefer the good old school methodologies. Being an introvert, I love travelling alone! However, as a courtesy, prior to every travel, I send an invitation to select people. An invitation is always personal, not everyone is entitled to receive. The remainder of this article emphasizes on how the probable cluster of people make it to my Invitation radar! And, believe me! A large proportion of this radar is volatile.

CASE IN POINT:

Typically, I receive requests from random people to help with their travel plans. And, most likely these are the ones referred by the people that I know. Well, I do chalk out favorable travel itineraries and help them out. And there are others that would merely want to join my trips. Sometimes, there are other known people that invite me to their trips. And here’s where it all matters. Just for the sake of companionship, neither do I join them, nor do I invite the other person to travel with me. In the past, there have been several awkward situations with such ingenuous decisions. I hope you got the crux of the matter. Yes!

A wrong set of people will make your travel experiences forgettable.

COURSE OF ACTION:

So, I follow a very simple approach on filtering people I have already known. Yes, this technique doesn’t apply to every new person I meet in a trip. Rather applies to the ones I already know. Trust me! None of my dear friends nor anyone in my immediate social circle would have the slightest hint of what I am going to describe in this blog. So, it’s a kind of secret that I am letting out to the world! And I love preserving secrets! However, I don’t mind letting them out when the situation demands!

What if I told you that I have practiced the art of studying human behavior?

Let me begin by quoting a classic real-life example. Long ago, my friend and I were involved in a causal morning meetup at one of the many public places in the city. Just when we were winding up, there comes another guy on our path and my friend strikes a conversation with him. The conversation, largely related to photography, carried on for nearly 20 minutes and all I did was observing the new guy. I didn’t utter a single word. Then, we dispersed. Three weeks later, my friend and the new guy eventually decided to meet. Later my friend called me up and we discussed all that happened between them. Predictably, that was unpleasant. And this is something that I was able to envision, moments after envisaging the new guy on day 1. This was one of the many, simple, real-life incidences that was easy to decipher. There are several complex scenarios too.

UNDERSTANDING HUMAN MIND:

Right from my early days of adulthood, I have been fortunate enough to meet people of varying age groups. With Travel & Photography journey, the number of people I have met has grown by leaps and bounds! Dealing with people of different age groups is a dramatic act of perception of foundational human qualities that gets its reputation over time. It’s a slow and gradual process of understanding a human mind. Humans are very complex. And that’s when Science comes to the rescue. It’s a fascinating field of study of human behavior and the reasons behind why humans behave in a particular manner is very intriguing. Thanks to my introverted personality type!

To understand a fellow human’s psyche, one must know thyself. And, here’s when my introversion scores above all! Each time I get an opportunity to spend time in solitude, there’s an unrelenting urge to look inwards. I consider such experiences as divine. Thanks to the numerous Himalayan journeys! Over a period, such practices have yielded in a better understanding of self and, in some way, the purpose of life. Yes, you read it right! There’s a purpose to every human life. And, it’s beyond money, fame, recognition, and you name all the other facets. Together these practices have helped me garner the many intricate abilities to comprehend a human mind and its behaviour. And, it’s an everyday learning process.

SKILL OF OBSERVATION:

Each time I meet a person or get involved in any type of conversation; I observe the following aspects:

VERBAL:

When someone conveys something to me verbally, the very aspect of that communication is to pay keen attention to facial expression, eye contact, and voice tone. Observing these trivial yet significant parameters hold the key to perception of any verbal communication.

NON-VERBAL:

Text-based communication gets interesting. Here, I don’t have any luxury of seeing the other person. Typically, I look for how the other person greets me? After all, that’s when a conversation begins. And here’s where most people lose out. They leave out something very important. I do reply, however, hesitantly. It’s a good practice to always include the name of the person. This goes a long way in building a foundation for any relationship. Of late, I have learnt the art of distinguishing a fake vs genuine greeting! Believe me, this wonderful learning is paving way for a healthy & relevant circle of people!

I have heard many people say to me that I am a difficult person to approach to. Well, this may sound true to a major proportion of people that I know. However, it isn’t. It’s an illusion that most people tend to believe because of the two major reasons.

1. Firstly, because of a lack of broad view of thinking. Every person is unique and must be respected for all that he/she portrays.
2. Secondly, my introverted personality type. Add to this the fact that, often, I am not vocal about all I want. For anyone with introversion, it’s about building trust and stronger trust with the fellow person. I look for certain qualities in people that I want to be in my immediate social circle. And these are the people that I put my trust into. The biggest asset is LOYALTY! A whopping 70% of people get wiped out from my radar, just by their perception of the fact that I am not social, alongside other related personality traits.

DISCERNING MANNERISM:

The other aspects that I take into consideration is a person’s idiosyncrasy. People that come under each of the following categories are filtered out:

• Sometimes I meet certain group of people, especially in the photography community, that try to compete for capturing the best possible photograph. This is an unhealthy practice and yields hatred. And, this ruins both the travel and friendliness.
• In this digital era of technological advancements, human values and emotions seem to have taken a back seat. Most people are either immersed in social media or their behavioural patterns are governed by social media and other external factors. I have developed a keen eye on what someone decides to share on social media and/or how someone responds to my posts. People that post political/disgusting hate contents are filtered off immediately. And, this holds true for people that share incessant memes all day long.
• Selfie maniacs are a big nuisance. Occasional selfies are okay! In the past, there have been several instances of my fellow travel partners involved in some risky selfie portraits. This puts their life in danger and is annoying to others, causing, distress to the entire group.
• No one likes being side-lined. So, do I. When someone shows disrespect either towards me or fellow travellers, it gets awkward. And, such instances don’t always have to be physical. The virtual world is equally responsible.
• Any kind of intoxication such as consumption of alcohol/drugs/weed is strictly prohibited with all my travel. These are the worst category of people that ruin any splendid travel experiences.

SPOTTING AND AXING FAKE FRIENDSHIP

In today’s virtually connected world, connecting with the real people has become a rarity. The person whom you consider as your friend, may not be the one. And it’s a worrying factor. Let’s take a real-life example:

Today, most people reach out to their friends only when there’s a need. While there’s nothing wrong with asking your friend for a favour, Friendship is nurtured with active care and support for each other all through the year! Back in the day, I fondly remember how much time my friends and I would check on each other and be together for no reason at all. Digital era is good. But, take some time to break away from the digital world and experience the real world.

What’s worrying is that people often lend support to some unknown celebrity, while leaving out people they have known for years.

Always remember Friends that support each other, strengthen their bond of friendship and loyalty. And this, paves for a meaningful friendship for a lifetime!

CONCLUSION:

Together with the aforementioned factors, I arrive at picking only a handful of bunch people for my travel invites! And, it is not just about travel. These people form an integral part of my life too!

IN A NUTSHELL:

LOYALTY and SUPPORT are the major aspects that scores above all! Ultimately, happiness comes from serving others. Not by competing and winning others.

Next time, when you don’t get my invitation, question yourself!

I hope this article did shed light on some behavioral aspects of humans and that it was helpful to you! Let me know if you liked this blog in the comments section below.